Moving to Tumblr
I have decided to move to tumblr.com, as China has blocked blog.com. Tumblr is pretty nice. May stay there indefinitely.
My dear readers:
Follow me at http://thebobblehead.tumblr.com
Yours truly,
Forevertiffany
Gap.
Our emotions flare up in the matter of seconds.
Event
Gap between Event and Emotional Response
Emotional Response
That 2 second gap (maybe 1 second or less for some) between the event and our emotional response is all you get to incur calamity or composure.
I would consider myself an abnormal person when it comes to emotions.
People who choose to become my friends experience this abnormality as our friendship progresses.
Those that continue to be my friends walk alongside me, hashing out my abnormal emotional responses.
But who’s to say that my responses are ‘abnormal’?
What IS normal?
If a person experiences rejection since childhood, he has been conditioned.
He has been conditioned to seek acceptance from those around him.
He has been conditioned to feel hurt from simple declinations.
Could we possible label this person as ‘abnormal’?
For this person to take apart his ‘normal’ emotional response to declinations, this will take time.
But, will people be willing to take the time to understand his emotional background?
That is the question.
Release.
We all have crushes, we get attracted.
At one point in your life, you will encounter someone who leaves you amazed.
And as the days go by, you spend every waking moment in an attempt
to spend just one more minute with this person.
Then you really wake up one morning and wonder…
this person controls my life, my emotions, my very being.
You look around and realize
everything has changed.
You have been in a coma, under the hold of “love.”
You’ve been set free! Don’t close your eyes
for fear…of going into another coma.
Feel the lightness in your heart as you skip from moment to moment
Acquainting yourself with all that you’ve missed out on.
Know your rights to say what you want, what you need.
Feel empowered as nothing holds you down. It’s thrilling.
i have been released.
Valentine’s.
As promised.
We all as humans have a longing.
Longing to be loved
Longing to belong
Longing to be accepted
But often this longing goes unfilled.
We continue living life, constantly seeking to fill this longing,
and we fill it with:
Achievement
Guys
Women
Addictions
…seeking what was lost.
Looking back,
I see my longing for a parent figure,
My longing to be affirmed -
longing to be loved,
longing to be in control.
My world was far from that.
I had no control
over
the suicidal thoughts from Mum,
when Dad would ever be home,
when I would get punished severely,
when I would go without a meal
because Mum didn’t feel like cooking.
I took on my mother’s role,
caring for my brother and sister
when Mum was out of control.
Protecting them
so that Mum wouldn’t kill them in her fury.
God,
You were the closest to me.
Yet there was still a longing within me,
a longing that to this day has not been filled.
I can say, God, that things do not seem any better.
I obtained acceptance, affirmation, and love
just to be rejected, shunned, and forgotten.
Even now,
the smallest rejection
feels like the end of the world.
The slightest disapproval
shuts me down emotionally – completely.
I control all my relationships, out of fear.
Out of fear of losing control,
fear
of feeling vulnerable.
The fear seeps out of me,
taking the form of insecurity (as people see it).
I have no confidence.
I have none,
because I am broken, deeply broken.
So God,
would you redeem me
and use me for Your kingdom, Your glory?
“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference”
Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Amen.
Conflicts.
Recently, I have experienced conflicts to the max, therefore I just thought it would be appropriate to dedicate a post to conflicts.
Conflict: an incompatibility between two or more opinions, principles, or interests.
When I hear the word conflict, I automatically think of disagreements.
Today I would like to redeem that word, to demonstrate that conflict simply means incompatibility.
So long as there remains incompatibility, there remains conflict.
How do we deal with this incompatibility?
Ideally, the end result that we want is: a compromise.
We want to reach a compromise.
You give up or change something and I give up or change something.
How do we reach this compromise?
In order for us to reach a compromise, we must first return to the beginning. Ask yourself:
- When did the incompatibility start?
- What is the incompatibility?
- What would you like changed from the other party?
- What are you willing to change if the other party agrees?
**Note: Pray for God’s timing, for an open heart from both involved parties.
However, do note that the longer you allow the conflict to draw out, the harder it is to confront the other party.
The sooner the better.
Let me give an illustration:
Recently, I encountered a conflict with one of my good friends.
At one point, I snapped at her out of a built-up of jealousy and anger towards her.
I felt that I had the right to be angry.
Wanting her to understand why I was angry, I tried to confront her.
Of course, after I snapped at her, she would not talk to me.
Out of desperation,
I used force to get her to give me time to address the issue.
Although I don’t normally endorse that sort of behavior, it worked.
She didn’t like it at all, but I succeeded.
Turns out, I was angry for the wrong reason. I did not see things from her perspective, reading her intentions incorrectly.
I felt embarrassed.
I hope this was a beneficial post. Stay tuned for a Valentine’s Day post~~
Courtesy.
I am really moved when a guy opens the door for me,
when a guy pulls out my chair for me,
or when a guy waits for me to eat first.
Am I capable of opening my own door?
Or seating myself in my chair?
Or even catching up to eat?
Of course.
This isn’t about my capabilities.
When a guy chooses to open or hold a door for me,
pulls out my chair for me,
or waits for me to eat,
it tells me that:
He cares and is making the effort to show that he cares about my existence in this world.
Communicate.
As I am nearing graduation in a year…
I begin to question myself even more.
What am I doing in the field of communications?
I don’t enjoy talking to people when I am tired or stressed.
Neither do I like talking to strangers constantly.
And working means I will be tired most of the time, no?
o.O
Return.
Time apart,
I thought I would forget about you,
and realize that it was all an infatuation.
But no.
Time apart just made me realize
that I sincerely care for you,
though currently it is a different care,
as I know the time is not right..
…and time apart has made me realize
that I look forward to seeing you again.
Waiting for your return.
Witness.
Sobbing is an interesting way to wake up
and this hasn’t been the first time.
It was quite dark
There was water all around me; it looked like a canal system.
Once you float down this one passage, you would never return.
It meant death.
This lady, her 2 girls, and this boy had been sentenced to go down this passage by 7 pm.
In my dream, I knew these 4 people really well.
I also knew this was their last chance to accept Christ, so I witnessed to all 4 of them.
Praise the Lord, all of them accepted Christ before they floated to their deaths.
Funny…
I remember asking Bernard about one of the girls…
and he said her favorite flowers were tiger lilys.
I hadn’t cried so much in my dreams in so long.
God,
I pray that the things that are not of You shall not come to pass.
And that I may take this dream as a warning that I must witness to people whenever I can.
Amen.
Horrible.
I think I am a horrible person.
no joke.
selfish: i don’t like to share friends
inconsiderate
easily frustrated
lazy: unless I know I can accomplish my goal completely
give up too easily
unforgiving
partial
intolerant
ungrateful
God,
I think You have a lot of work to do…
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